


The Weight Of Deafness In Love And Survival

by marta1854



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-08
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2019-08-20 10:28:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 14,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16554062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marta1854/pseuds/marta1854
Summary: Age ten: the flu outbreak killed Cooper’s parents, took her hearing, and got her moved to Alpha station when adopted by the Snows. Age sixteen: her friend revealed that life-support was failing and she agreed that everyone needed to know. Age seventeen: she’s sent to the ground and ends up catching the eye of some sent with her. Will they get her’s too or just get her killed?





	1. What is Happening?

I can feel the sun on my face. I can see trees all around me. I can smell the scent of the wildflowers on the breeze. I can even hear the birds singing the song only they know the words to. It’s so beautiful but it’s not real. Reality is being stranded in space locked in a cell for knowing the truth and unable to hear anything without the magnet connected to my head and aid around my ear. It’s been ninety-seven years since the nuclear apocalypse killed everyone on Earth and left it covered in radiation. But there were survivors; twelve nations had operational space stations at the time. Now there is only the Ark; the one station forged from the many. We’re told the Earth need another one-hundred years to become survivable again. This is at least four more space locked generations and man can go home, back to the ground. The ground, that’s the dream. Unfortunately we’ll never make it there. Life-support on the Ark is failing and has been for a year. Jake Griffin, Clarke’s father, discovered the flaw and wanted everyone to know. Clarke found out, agreed, and told Wells and I. I agreed with them but Wells didn’t and told his dad, Thelonious Jaha, the Chancellor. This got Jake floated and Clarke and I locked up in the Skybox, awaiting the day we turn eighteen to be floated.

Suddenly I was dragged out of the “bed” and my thoughts by rough hands causing my eyes to fly open. In my cell were four guards; two who were holding my arms, one who was getting some sort of metal bracelet out of a case, and one who was holding said case. I watch in confusion as he comes and snaps it on my wrist, with multiple stings from what feels like needles piercing my skin. I just let them lead me out even though I still had months before I turned eighteen as it was only a matter of time before they culled the prisoners to give them more time. But my eyes widen and I freeze when I spot my adoptive parents, Julie and Romero Snow, standing just outside the door. They step closer with the extreme sadness at the loss of yet another daughter in their eyes. Their biological daughter died ten years ago from a heart defect that wasn’t discovered until it suddenly killed her. They tried to have another child but then the flu outbreak that killed my biological parents, my childhood friend, his parents, and others on the Ark and took my hearing happened and they decided to adopt an orphan. I was said lucky orphan who was adopted by them, became a “privileged” who lived in Alpha station, and was adopted by a family who did it out of love and not for the extra rations. I was even lucky that someone ninety-seven years ago thought it was a good idea to stock the space stations with cochlear implants, sign language books for the sign languages of each stations nation, and medical books and videos covering deafness and cochlear implants (which included how to use them, how to complete the surgery, and how to fix them). But then again I was the first deaf person on the Ark in nearly sixty years so everything was new to everyone involved, I was labeled either a freak or an idiot or even both from almost everyone, and everyone I had loved was dead.

Romero looks at the two guards holding me and asks “Can you give us a moment with our daughter?” They must have agreed since they let me go and stepped back. Romero and Julie then closed the distance between us, hugged me, and Julie connected the processor to my implant where it needed to be. The council had taken it away when I got arrested, since I didn’t need it in the Skybox especially with me being in solitary, and me getting it back meant we weren’t being culled but something else entirely. But before I could question what was happening I was shot in the neck with something and everything went black.


	2. Dropship

I groaned and lifted my head up only to hear the familiar voice of Wells say “Welcome back, Coop.” I whip my head in his direction next to me as Clarke snaps “Wells, why the hell are you here?” from her spot next to him. “When I found out they were sending prisoners to the ground, I got myself arrested. I came for you. Both of you.” He replies looking at both of us, me with his stupid grin he got when talking to me about Clarke and his feelings for her. The three of us have been friends from the moment I met them and he’s been head over heels for her the whole time so it was a surprise that he told his dad knowing that her dad would get floated and we might get floated because of it. I’ve always suspected that someone else told but Wells said he did and I don’t even know who else would have known.

It was then that everything rattled and shook making almost everyone scream as I realize he said the ground. The dream was becoming a reality but then again we’re probably all going to die because of it. “What was that?” Clarke asks so Wells replies “That was the atmosphere.” Then the screens turned on revealing the face of the Chancellor and the prerecorded message begins: “Prisoners of the Ark. Hear me now. You’ve been given a second chance, and as your chancellor it’s my hope that you see this as not just a chance for you, but a chance for all of us. Indeed for mankind itself. We have no idea what is waiting for you down there. If the odds of survival were better, we would’ve sent others. Frankly, we’re sending you because your crimes have made you expendable.” “Your dad is a dick, Wells!” Someone yelled then causing laughter to come from some of them as the message continues: “Those crimes will be forgiven, your records wiped clean. The drop site has been chosen carefully. Before the last war, Mount Weather was a military base built within a mountain. It was to be stocked with enough nonperishables to sustain three hundred people for up to two years.” But it was then that someone yelled “Hey check it out.” Followed by another saying “Spacewalk bandit strikes again.” Turning my head I watch as a boy floats over to us, doing flips, and floating on his back in front of us he says “Check it out, your dad floated me after all.” With a wink in my direction and a smirk in Clarke’s as Wells tells him “You should strap in before the parachutes deploy.” I roll my eyes at him as Clarke orders two others “Hey, you two, stay put if you want to live.” “Hey, you’re the traitors who’ve been in solitary for a year.” The boy says then looking between Clarke and I as the message says: “Mount Weather is Life. You must located those supplies immediately. Your responsibility is to stay alive.”

“You’re the idiot who wasted a month of oxygen on an illegal spacewalk.” Clarke practically growls at him in response only for him to say “But it was fun. I’m Finn.” We look at him in disbelief before the two who were working to join him finally got out of their restraints causing Clarke to yell at them “Stay in your seats!” Almost on cue the ship lurched as the ships parachutes opened and flung the three around the ship. Yells erupted as one had hit a pipe causing it to burst open and spill white steam into the room. “Finn, are you okay?” Clarke yells in the direction he flew only for a groan in response and sparks to came from the ceiling then. I couldn’t stop myself from griping the red straps of the seat so hard my knuckles were now white. “Retrorockets ought to have fired by now!” Wells says so Clarke looks at us and says “Okay, everything in the ship is a hundred years old, right? Just give it a second!” “Clarke, there’s something I have to tell you! I’m sorry I got your father arrested.” Wells says then causing Clarke to yell “Don’t you talk about my father.” “Please, I can’t die knowing that you hate me.” Wells insists so Clarke yells at him “They didn’t just arrest my father, Wells, they executed him! I do hate you!” It was then that the ship started shaking even worse and we were thrown into darkness for a few seconds. That’s when there was a loud machine hum until we come to a stop.

After a minute of calm someone says “Listen. No machine hum.” “That’s a first.” Someone responds before the buckles undid and practically everyone bolted out of the seats. I placed a hand on Wells shoulder as he was still reeling from Clarke telling him she hated him as she ran over to where the three had been thrown asking “Finn, is he breathing?” He looks up at me sadly then so I give him a small smile. He returns it was a small nod in thanks before someone shouts “The outer door is on the lower level! Let’s go!” “No! We can’t just open the doors!” Clarke calls rushing over to the crowd going down the ladder. At this Wells grabs my hand and pulls me along to follow Clarke down as someone says “Hey, just back it up, guys.” Clarke yells a simple “Stop!” now jumping off the ladder as Wells and I start climbing down. We got to the bottom just in time to watch her push her way through the crowd to the single guard saying “The air could be toxic.” “If the air is toxic, we’re all dead, anyway.” He tells her only for someone to ask “Bellamy?” Looking in the direction it came from was a pretty dark-brown haired girl coming down from the ladder. Everyone’s silent as she makes her way towards him, his face showing how much he loved her.

“My God, look how big you are.” He says smiling as she pulls him into a hug before asking “What the hell are you wearing, a guard’s uniform?” “I borrowed it to get on the drop ship. Someone has got to keep an eye on you.” He answers causing Clarke to interrupt “Where’s your wristband?” The girl spun around, annoyed, and says “Do you mind? I haven’t seen my brother in a year.” This causes someone to call “No one has a brother!” That was true, one kid per family was the rules. “That’s Octavia Blake, the girl they found hidden in the floor.” Someone else says so I look at Wells confused as the girl, Octavia, lunged out to attack the speaker. “It happened after you and Clarke were arrested.” He tells me as Bellamy holds her back saying “Octavia, Octavia. No. Let’s give them something else to remember you by.” “Yeah? Like what?” Octavia questions her brother who answers with “Like being the first person on the ground in one-hundred years.” Before reaching out and flipping the switch to open the door. A loud hissing followed as the door started to lower, allowing light to spill into the ship and causing my processor to start ringing from the overload of sound of the ships machines and metallic screeching of the door opening. I quickly turn it off before any damage could be done to it or me as I look around at the things that I’d only heard of or seen pictures of; trees, grass, and flowers. Octavia slowly makes her way down the ramp, pausing, then dropping onto the ground she throws her hand in the air and probably yells something which causes basically everyone to rush out.


	3. Something is Wrong Here

Wells keeps me from getting pushed to the ground from the others rushing out. In our little group I was basically the little sister as I was the one who was protected by the other two and the one who broke up their fights, comforted the loser, and helped them make up. When the chaos in the dropship died down he lets me go and faces me before signing _“It’s safe for you to turn it back on.”_ I sign ” _Thanks.”_ Before reaching up and turning it back on. He nods before doing a dramatic motion for me to take the first step. I smile and shake my head at him but step out into the sunlight. “I’m going to see if the rough landing hurt our communication system. Are you going to be fine on your own?” Wells asks from next to me then causing me to sigh as I look at him with a ‘really?’ look. He throws his hands up in defense saying “I was just asking.” _“I’ll be fine.”_ I sign so he tells me seriously “Okay, but if you’re in any trouble call out for either Clarke or I. We’ll come running.” I give him an ‘I know’ look then so he gives me a smile as he ruffles my hair. I swat him off causing him to laugh as he walks back into the ship.

Taking a deep breath then, I walk off the ramp and look around at everyone as they celebrated. As I walked around looking at the different plant life I wondered if we were actually where we were supposed to be since there was no sign of any type of bunker around us. Sighing I turn around to find either Wells or Clarke to ask them and luckily see Clarke at the dropship. Walking over I say, instead of signing “I don’t think we’re in the right place.” Which I only did because I was behind her and her, her parents, Wells, his father, and my adoptive parents were the only ones I felt comfortable enough around to actually use my voice. Others on the Ark would make fun of me or worse when I did or when they found out I was the “stupid deaf girl” by looking at my processor.

 Looking up at me from the map in front of her Clarke says “I know Coop. They dropped us on the wrong damn mountain.” She then looks back at the map, points to a spot, says “We’re here.”, moves her finger up to the spot that has Mt Weather printed on it, and adds “Here’s Mount Weather. There’s a radiation soaked forest between us and our next meal.” Sighing I sit next to the map so I was in front of her and when she looks back up at me I sign _“At least we have each other.”_ She smiles at me and nods before Wells walks out of the dropship and says “We got problems. The communications system is dead. I went to the roof. A dozen panels are missing. Heat fried the wires.” As he joins us. “Well, all that matters right now is getting to mount weather. See? Look.” Clarke says before doing the same thing she did with me with the map causing Wells to be stupid and ask “Where’d you learn to do that?”

I give him an ‘even I can’t help you now’ look causing him to sigh out “Your father.” It was then that a boy with goggles on his head came over saying “Ah, cool, a map. They got a bar in this town? I’ll buy you a beer.” Wells immediately grabbed his arm and started pushing him back with a “You mind?” That’s when a somewhat familiar voice says “Hey, Hey, Hey. Hands off of him. He’s with us.” I look at the group of boys trying to figure out who was familiar as Wells says “Relax. We’re just trying to figure out where we are.” “We’re on the ground. That not good enough for you?” Bellamy chimes in then from his spot next to Octavia as some other kids came to watch. Wells looks at him, walks over, and says “We need to find Mount Weather. You heard my father’s message. That has to be our first priority.” Causing Clarke and I to follow him knowing everyone but the two of us probably wanted him dead because of his father. “Screw your father. What you think you’re in charge here? You and your little princesses?” Octavia snaps with hatred in her eyes as she looks at the three of us causing Clarke to shift over so she was blocking me from her as she tells her “Do you think we care who’s in charge? We need to get to Mount Weather, not because the Chancellor said so, but because the longer we wait, the hungrier we will get. And the harder this’ll be. How long do you think we will last without those supplies? We’re looking at a twenty mile trek, okay? So if we want to get there before dark, we need to leave, now.” Unfortunately instead of agreeing with logic Bellamy says “I got a better idea. You three go, find it for us. Let the privileged do the hard work for a change.” Which causes almost everyone to say “Yeah” in agreement.

“You’re not listening. We all need to go.” Wells says before a boy with slicked back brown hair brushes past me as he comes up and pushed him announcing “Look at this everybody-the Chancellor of Earth!” “Think that’s funny?” Wells asks only to have the boy kick the back of his ankle causing him to fall backwards and land on the ground. “Wells!” Both Clarke and I call out as we go to go to him but we get held back as the boy says “No, but that was.” Wells got back up on his own and got into a fighting position, only now he was favoring his uninjured leg. It was then that Finn dropped down from the top of the dropship and landed in-between the two of them causing the ones holding Clarke and I to let go in surprise. “Kid has got one leg. How about you wait until it’s a fair fight?” Finn tells him causing Octavia to come forward saying “Hey, spacewalker, rescue me next.” This elicits a laugh from some of the others as the boy who attacked Wells turns around and Clarke and I once again go to go to Wells. But I’m once again stopped but this time by a hand gently grabbing my arm. I look in the direction of its owner and discover it’s from the boy who attacked Wells, who was now looking at me with an indescribable look. I quickly pulled my arm from his grip and went over to Wells and Clarke ignoring the flash of shock in his eyes. His face looked kind of familiar but he just attacked Wells so it was not the time for figuring out who he was.

 _“You okay?”_ I sign crouching down next to Clarke in front of Wells causing him to say “Yeah.” before Finn comes up to us and asks “So Mount Weather. When do we leave?” Clarke stands and says “Right now.” As she looks at him before turning back to Wells and I adding “We’ll be back tomorrow with food.” _“I’m going too.”_ I sign quickly as I jump up causing Clarke to smile and ruffle my hair with an “Of course.” This causes Wells to ask “How are the three of you going to carry enough food for 100?” With that Finn turns around, grabs goggles and the Asian next to him, pulls them out of the group they were in, and asks “Five of us. Can we go now?”

That’s when Octavia comes over saying “Sounds like a party, make it six.” “Hey, what the hell are you doing?” Bellamy asks coming after his sister and grabbing her arm only for her to say a simple “Going for a walk.” That’s when Clarke suddenly asks “Hey, were you trying to take this off?” stepping towards Finn and grabbing his arm with the wrist band. That’s when I notice the scratch marks on his bracelet and shake my head at him as he asks “Yeah. So?” “So, this wristband transmits your vital signs to the ark. Take it off, and they’ll think you’re dead.” Clarke answers causing him to ask “Should I care?” “Well, I don’t know. Do you want the people you love to think you’re dead? Do you want them to follow you down here in two months? Because they won’t if they think we’re dying.” Clarke practically scoffs out in response causing him to be silent as he just looks at the ground in shame and after a few moments of this she added “Okay. Now let’s go.” Finn and the boys start walking as Octavia looks at Bellamy for permission. “Go on.” He tells her so she smiles happily and kisses him on the cheek in thanks before jogging to catch up to the three boys as Clarke and I look at Wells. “You shouldn’t have come here, Wells. Let’s go Coop.” She says before starting to follow the others so give him a small smile as I sign _“See you tomorrow.”_ He nods so I turn and quickly catch up to Clarke and Octavia.

“Before you two get any ideas, Finn is mine.” Octavia states as soon as I’m next to Clarke causing Clarke to look at me for my opinion so I sign a simple _“I don’t care.”_ So Clarke tells Octavia “Before you get any ideas, we don’t care.” She seems satisfied with that answer and jogs forward to catch up with the three boys, or probably just Finn. “I’m going to go up and lead.” Clarke says then looking at me so I nod. She nods back before jogging to the front and taking the lead.

After the dropship was no longer in sight we start to pass a bunch of purple flowers called Poison Sumac. Despite the name they were medicinal as if used correctly they had a calming effect. That’s when I noticed that the two boys in front of me stopped. Stepping between the two I look between them in question. In response the Asian motioned forward to Octavia and Finn as Finn placed one of the flowers behind her ear and goggles says “Now, that, my friends, is game.” “That, my friend, is Poison Sumac.” The Asian says picking up one of the flowers himself causing Octavia to instantly freak out and swat it out of her hair asking “What? It is?” I shake my head no as the Asian explains “The flowers themselves aren’t poisonous. They’re medicinal, calming, actually.” Taking a bite out of the flower. “His family grows all the pharmaceuticals on the ark.” Goggles says just before Clarke stops, whirls around, and asks “Hey, guys, would you try to keep up?” Which causes Finn to hold his arms out and ask “Come on, Clarke. How do you block all this out?” “Well, it’s simple. I wonder, ‘why haven’t we seen any animals?’ Maybe it’s because there are none. Maybe we’ve already been exposed to enough radiation to kill us. Sure is pretty, though. Come on.” She responds before turning back around causing Octavia to say “Someone should slip her some Poison Sumac.” Which causes Finn to breathe out a laugh and goggles to start cracking up as we start walking again.

That’s when Finn looks over his shoulder at the three of us and says “I got to know what you two did to get busted.” “Sumac is not the only herb in the garden, if you know what I mean.” The Asian says and goggles adds “Someone forgot to replace what we took.” “Someone has apologized, like a thousand times.” The Asian shoots back but goggles ignores him and asks “How about you, Octavia? What’d they get you for?” I look at him with an ‘are you really that stupid?’ look as Octavia stays silent for a second before answering “Being born.” And picking up her pace. “That is so not game.” The Asian tells goggles hitting him once on the arm.

They end up hitting each other back and forth for a few times before I shake my head and follow Finn to the crouching Octavia and Clarke. When we get there Clarke turns to us with a finger to her lips so we both crouch down, him in the middle of the two and me next to Clarke. We’re soon joined by the other two boys as we all watch the deer. “No animals, huh?” Finn asks before crouching a little forward and ending up stepping on a twig, which snaps. The deer’s head snaps up and reveals two faces. We all flinch backwards in surprise before it takes off running. Clarke was right…there was something wrong here.


	4. River Monster

“Hey, you know what I’d like to know? Why send us down today after 97 years? What changed?” Finn asks suddenly, breaking the minutes of silence that had become familiar to me. “Who care? I’m just glad they did. I woke up rotting in a cell and, now, I’m spinning in a forest.” Octavia answers grabbing onto a tree and spinning herself around as Finn passes by. He ignores her causing her to look defeated so I silently sigh. I didn’t understand why she was so interested in him since he obviously hasn’t shown any interest in her. But at the same time if I sighed loudly she’d probably get angry.

“Maybe they found something on a satellite, you know, like an old weather satellite.” Googles suggest causing Clarke to casually say “It wasn’t a satellite. The ark is dying.” They all stop and look at her in shock but I just continue to walk next to her through them as she then continues dropping the “bomb” on them “At the current population level, there’s roughly three months left of life support, maybe four now that we’re gone.”

“So that was the secret they locked you two up to keep, why they kept you two in solitary, and floated Clarke’s old man?” Finn asks stepping into pace beside Clarke causing her to swallow hard before answering “My father was the engineer who discovered the flaw. He thought the people had a right to know. The Council disagreed. My mother disagreed. They were afraid it would cause a panic. We were gonna go public, anyway, when Well…” “What? Turned in your dad?” Finn questions when she trails off so I nod while Clarke explains “Anyway, the guard showed up before we could. That’s why today. That’s why it was worth the risk. Even if we all die, at least, they bought themselves more time.”

“They’re gonna kill more people aren’t they?” the Asian questions immediately so I nod as Clarke stays silent. This in turn causes Octavia to say “Good.” Which causes us all to stop and look at her as she continues walking adding “After what they did to me, I say, float them all.” “You don’t mean that.” Googles calls chasing after her as Finn looks at Clarke saying “We have to warn them.” This causes her to stare into his eyes in wonder as she says “That’s what my father said.” I raise an eyebrow at her then so she gives me a quick eye roll as she turns to keep walking only to bump into Goggles who had stopped and was busy staring at something. We follow his gaze to Octavia pulling down her pants as he tells us “Oh, damn, I love Earth.” I blink in surprise as Goggles keeps laughing in joy while Octavia slowly steps over some rocks. “Octavia, what the hell are you doing?!” Clarke finally shouts snapping out of her surprise only for Octavia to look at us, smirk, before turning and jumping off what must be a cliff.

Water splashes and we all rush over to find out what she just jumped in. We all stop seeing the body of water with just Octavia’s eye showing about the water. And this time it was the Asian who called “Octavia…we can’t swim.” This causes Octavia to stand, reveal that the water was to her rib cage, and giggle out “No, but we can stand.” “Wait, There’s not supposed to be a river here.” Clarke says causing Finn to say “Well, there is. So take off your damn clothes.” The Asian and Goggles begin to follow his orders until I spot something else in the water a little bit away and point to it. Surprisingly it’s Goggles who notices, looks to where I’m pointing, and immediately warns “Octavia, get out of the water.” She turns around as whatever it is swims faster towards her causing Goggles to shout “Get out of the water now!” But whatever it was got to her and pulled her under as she let out a scream causing Goggles to scream “Octavia!”

It’s eerily calm until she jumps out of the water a little bit away screaming. “What the hell is that?” The Asian asks so Finn says “We have to help her.” Throwing his jacked on the rocks. “What are you going to do?” Goggles asks him causing him to say “Try not to get eaten.” Clark stops Finn by holding out her arm and saying “No, wait. If we distract it, it might let her go. Help me.” As she then bends down to a large rock. We all quickly go and help her push it into the water which made a big splash and caused the thing to let go of Octavia and swim over to us. “It worked. It let her go.” The Asian says as Goggles calls “Can you get to the shore now?” but she’s still thrashing causing him to jump into the water, grab her with an “I got you”, and start coming back to shore. But this causes the creature to turn around and head back towards them. “It’s coming back! It’s headed right for you, guys!” Finn calls out as we rush over to them.

Luckily, they made it up onto the rocks before the thing could grab either one. Getting closer I noticed the four large gashes in Octavia’s leg from the creature and join Clarke to help tend to it. I put some pressure on them as Clarke reaches over and tears a piece off of Goggles shirt before using it as a tourniquet. Octavia starts thanking Goggles multiple times then as she hugs him so Clarke tells her “You’re going to be okay.” That’s when the Asian pats Goggles on the shoulder saying “Note to self, next time, save the girl.” causing us all to laugh.


	5. The Kidnap of Goggles

In the morning we searched for a way to cross the river without being eaten by the creature in it. Since none of us really wanted to go through yesterday’s events again. As we were looking Octavia suddenly questions “I’ve been meaning to ask. What is that?”  “Don’t you know?” The Asian, or Monty as he introduced last night, asks as I turn to look at her, noticing she was pointing a finger at my processor just like I thought, while Goggles, or Jasper as he introduced last night too, says a “Don’t ask that.” “It’s just a question and why would I know if I asked?!” Octavia snaps angrily at them so I quickly raise my hands and shake my head trying to convey to them that it was fine. Since if she spent her life in hiding then in prison she probably didn’t know about me.

“Cooper is deaf. That…” Clarke stars to explain then gesturing to the processor before continuing “Is a sound processor that connects to an internal implant that makes her able to hear.” “Oh…” Octavia says slowly looks back at me before getting an apologetic look as she adds “I’m sorry for asking. I didn’t know that you were the...uh…deaf girl my mom had talked about. I know what it’s like to be called out for something that’s out of your control.”  _“It’s fine. Really.”_ I sign quickly before remembering that only Clarke and Wells knew sign and repeating the head shake with hands raised. She gives me a warm smile then so I give her a small one back before Finn announces “Now that that’s taken care of, I want to be the first to go.”

Looking at him then and see that he has a long vine in his hand while standing at the top of some large rocks. “That’ll work.” Jasper says going up to join him as he tugs on the vine a few times. This causes Clarke to tell him “You wanted to go first. Now quit stalling. Mount Weather awaits.” Jasper then whispers to him “Just hang on till the apogee and you’ll be fine.” Probably so the others couldn’t hear but I could read lips so I still could tell. Which for me was probably a good thing as my processor probably only had enough power for today and maybe tomorrow. Though I wasn’t too sure at how long the battery for my processor will last in this new environment, as three days was normally the time it lasted on the Ark. I didn’t even know if there were any replacement batteries or a charger on the dropship so at any time I could be thrown back into permanent silence. That’s not even counting on the fact that my processor could get broken on accident or on purpose, it wouldn’t be the first time after all. Then it would be only silence for me as I’m sure there wasn’t going to be a replacement processor on the dropship or just replacement parts.

 “The apogee like the Indians, right?” Finn asks sarcastically then dragging me out of my thoughts and causing Jasper to say “Apogee, not Apache.” “He knows. Today, Finn.” Clarke says then so Finn salutes her with two fingers saying “Aye, Aye, captain. See you on the other side.” And takes a step back only for Jasper to hold up a hand and say “Wait.” “What?” Finn asks so Jasper looks down at Octavia and quickly back at Finn saying “Let me. I can do it.” Finn hands him the vine saying “Knew there was a badass in there somewhere.” Jasper hesitates so Finn pats him on the arm and says “Hey, it’s okay to be afraid, Jasper. The trick is not fighting it.” With that Jasper looks down at us and says “See you on the other side.” And goes, cheering as he does. He lets go of the vine a little too soon and falls face first on the ground causing as all to run to the edge looking at him in concern.

Finn grabs the vine as it swings back while Jasper slowly gets up and throws his arms up, shouting “We are apogee!” And I couldn’t stop myself from throwing my arms up and yelling “Yeah!” with everyone else. “You did it, Jasper!” Clarke shouts at him then causing him to dance around. “Let’s go, Princess. You’re up.” Finn says then giving the vine to Clarke so Jasper calls “Come on, Clarke! You got this! Whoo! Apogee!” I shake my head as Clarke gives Finn a most definite “I like you” look and turn my attention back to Jasper who was walking over to something. He then brushes it off before picking it up, calling “We did it!”, before raising the pretty much destroyed sign in the air, and shouting “Mount Weather! Whoo!” I breathe a sigh of relief knowing we were going where we needed to be as Finn calls “Yeah, Jasper!” But the joy and relief was short as a spear then flies across the river and straight into Jasper’s chest, throwing him backwards into a tree. “Jasper!” we all scream before Finn yells “Come on. Get down.” I’m unable to move, staring at Jasper and the spear in his chest, but I’m instantly grabbed and pulled down behind some rocks with everyone else by Octavia. I’m shaking as I’m unable to hear anything but the others, my own breathing, and the water behind us while we all look around for the source of the spear. I feel a hand grab mine tightly and glance up at the source, Octavia, as Clarke announces “We’re not alone.”

“We need to go.” Finn says then motioning for everyone to run. Octavia quickly pulls me with her as we all run into the forest. We run until Monty trips over a root in the ground, landing face first. Octavia lets go of me and we help him up with Finn saying “Monty, get up!” It was then that we noticed what he landed in front of, a pile of bones, causing Finn to question “Who are they?” This causes Clarke to bend down, pick up an oddly shaped skull, and ask “What are they?” “We are so screwed.” Octavia states before Jaspers loud scream echoes throughout the trees. Whipping our heads around in the direction we just came from Clarke says “Jasper. He’s alive.” Before taking off in that direction. “Clarke, wait. Wait!” Finn shouts after her as we all chase her. He grabs her and pulls her into a crouch saying “Stay out of the trees.”

Looking down at the spot Jasper was hit we realized it’s now empty. “He was right there. No. Where is he?” Monty whispers and I couldn’t stop myself from breathing out the realization: “They took him.”


	6. Who is Murphy?

On our way back to the dropship, both to make a plan and drop off the hurt Octavia, shouting and hollering came from its direction. We all look at each other before picking up our speed. Clarke and Finn rush forward to assess the commotion as Monty and I help Octavia, the gash on her thigh making it hard for her to walk now.

 “Wells! Let him go!” Clarke shouts when we emerge from the trees causing everyone to look at us instead of Bellamy, Wells, and the boy from yesterday. Wells and the boy were yet again in a fight but this time both of them had makeshift knives. Wells’ roughly pushes him to ground when Clarke and Finn get closer causing him to stumble but quickly pop back up. He goes to lunge at Wells again but Bellamy steps in front of him with a “Whoa. Hey! Enough, Murphy.” The name Murphy seemed familiar but I couldn’t place it and my attempt is interrupted by Bellamy exclaiming “Octavia!” He runs over forcing her away from us while asking her “Are you alright?” “Yeah.” She breathes out with a forced smile causing Bellamy to look at me and demand “Where’s the food?”

I don’t know how to respond then as I stare at him in shock and fear, wondering why Bellamy was signaling me out, since even with my label as a “privileged” there was still Clarke, and knowing no matter how I responded I’d be outed as the deaf girl, if I wasn’t already from the attention drawn to me now or the events of yesterday, and I’d be regularly attacked because of it. I was on the Ark and down here would be no different, especially surrounded by criminals. I’d like at least another day without the constant names, mocking, and even physical attacks I received on the Ark as I’m not going to be able to escape it when my processor dies, either at the end of today or tomorrow. Though Finn, Monty, Jasper, and even Octavia didn’t seem to care and just accepted me like Clarke and Wells did.

Thankfully I’m quickly saved by Finn announcing “We didn’t make it to Mount Weather.” “What the hell happened out there?” Bellamy demands then directing his attention towards Finn allowing me to relax a little as Clarke quickly says “We were attacked.” “Attacked? By what?” Wells asks looking at her and glancing at me causing Finn to answer “Not what. Who. It turns out that when the last man from the ground died on the Ark. He wasn’t the last Grounder.” “It’s true. Everything we thought we knew about the ground is wrong. There are people here, survivors. The good news is, that means we can survive. Radiation won’t kill us.” Clarke says causing an eruption of whispers until Finn adds “Yeah, the bad news is the Grounders will.” And that’s when Wells finally noticed that Jasper wasn’t with us and asked “Where’s the kid with the goggles?”

“Jasper was hit. They took him.” Clarke answers him before grabbing his wrist, sliding up his jacket, and asking “Where’s your wristband?” I can’t believe what’s happening as he forces her hand off as he nods his head towards Bellamy with an “Ask him.” Clarke looks at Bellamy and asks “How many?” while stepping forward. “Twenty four and counting.” Murphy answers giving her a smile causing Clarke to shake her head breathing out “You idiots.” She then glances at me, both of us knowing what would happen if they all took off their wristbands, before announcing “Life support on the Ark is failing. That’s why they brought us down here. They need to know the ground is survivable again, and we need their help against whoever is out there. If you take off your wristbands, you’re not just killing them. You’re killing us!”

Bellamy steps away from Octavia then and looks up at the rest of the group saying “We’re stronger than you think. Don’t listen to her. She’s one of the privileged. If they come down, she’ll have it good. How many of you can say the same? That wristband on your arm? It make you a prisoner. We are not prisoners anymore! They say they’ll forgive your crimes. I say you’re not criminals! You’re fighters, survivors! The grounders should worry about us!” The group yells out a “Yeah” as Bellamy turns towards the rest of us with a content face. Causing Clarke to shake her head and start walking in the opposite direction of everyone, towards the dropship, with Monty quickly catching up to her. But before I went to follow them, I glance at Murphy, trying to figure out why he was so familiar to me. He suddenly looks in my direction and gets a shocked look so I quickly look away and start to walk toward the dropship. I can’t remember who he is but he sure seems to know who I was. Who was he to me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I've been working this story (expect at least another chapter within the week ;) ) and I need some input. What is Bellamy going to call Cooper? By her name or a nickname? If it's a nickname what do you think it should be? I can only think of "Shorty" but that doesn't feel right.


	7. Recruitment

I was waiting for Clarke to finish searching for supplies on the upper levels of the dropship, watching Monty as he was working on one of the lamps attached to the dropship to see if it can come off and be used as a lantern. I had given up trying to place Murphy, he was probably just someone I had known on Arrow Station that managed to survive the outbreak. Whoever he was will probably come back to me sooner or later anyway. I mean, it has been a little over seven years since I’ve seen him after all. Right now though, we just need to focus on getting Jasper back.

“It’s not your ankle, Wells, it’s you.” Clarke says then so I look and see her coming down from the second floor of the dropship, followed by Wells. “You came back for reinforcements. I’m gonna help.” Wells says jumping off the ladder causing Monty to turn away from the light saying “Clarke, he’s right. We need him. So far no one else has volunteered.” Clarke shakes her head telling him “I’m sorry, Monty, but you’re not going, either.” “Like hell I’m not. Jasper’s my best friend.” Monty argues stepping towards her only for her to tell him “You’re too important. You were raised on farm station and recruited by engineering.”

“So?” he questions so she responds “So food and communication.” Before reaching up and touching his head and adding “What’s up here, it’s gonna save us all. You figure out how to talk to the ark and I’ll bring Jasper back. Let’s go Coop.” as she turns around. So I give Monty a reassuring smile as I go to follow her when Finn suddenly comes into the dropship causing her to stop and question “Hey. You ready?”

He gives her a look and says “I’m not going anywhere.” Before looking at the rest of us and adding “And neither should any of you.” He then looks back at her and continues “That spear was thrown with pinpoint accuracy from 300 feet.” “So what? We let Jasper die?” Monty snaps so I quickly place a hand on his shoulder and shake my head as Clarke says “That’s not gonna happen.” Looking back at us before looking back towards Finn adding “Spacewalker? What a joke. You think you’re such an adventurer. You’re really just a coward.” With that she bends down to grab her pack causing Finn to tell her “It’s not an adventure, Clarke. It’s a suicide mission.” She just shakes her head softly and repeats “Let’s go Coop.” before she heads out of the dropship without another look back.

Finn looks at me concerned, his face practically screaming at me not to go, so, even though I knew he couldn’t understand me, I tap my processor once and then sign _“I’m used to not being able to hear what’s coming at me.”_ Before heading out after Clarke, who was actually still just outside the dropship scanning the camp. She seems to find what she’s looking for as she starts to walk again so I just follow after her. Feeling a pat on my shoulder, I look up to find Wells, following us anyway. I give him a small smile before hearing Bellamy state “You could have been killed.” Looking over I see him, kneeling in front of Octavia, cleaning her wound, with Murphy and another one of his followers close by as Clarke announces “She would have been if Jasper didn’t jump in to pull her out.” This causes him to glance at her and Octavia to say “You guys leaving? I’m coming, too.” Wrapping her bandages around the wound and starting to get up.

“No, no. No way. Not again.” Bellamy instantly tells her, placing a hand on her shoulder and pushing her back down onto the log she was sitting on. “He’s right. You’re leg’s just gonna slow us down.” Clarke tells her before looking at Bellamy adding “I’m here for you.” “Clarke, what are you doing?” Wells, questions pulling me behind him so he was closer to Clarke, who ignores him and tells Bellamy “I hear you have a gun.” He then picks his shirt up a little so we could see the gun causing Clarke to say “Good. Follow me.” As she starts walking.

“And why would I do that?” He questions then so she stops right next to him as she says “Because you want them to follow you, and right now, they’re thinking only one of us is scared.” Before starting to walk again. Wells and I quickly follow after her as Bellamy says “Murphy, come with me. Atom?” We’re too far away to catch the rest and that’s when Wells tells Clarke “Those guys aren’t just bullies, Clarke. They’re dangerous criminals.” “I’m counting on it.” She tells him before looking back to see if they were still following. Hopefully she knew what she was doing, then again, she usually did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, just wanted to say thanks to you all that suggested some nicknames for Bellamy to call Cooper. The top ones that I like (so far) are Co, Chickie, and Butterfly. Let me know if you have any others or really like one of them. I have at least one more chapter on the way as soon as this is decided. 
> 
> P.s. one of these three may be used by Murphy later (may or may not be part of the big reveal on how they know each other ;) ). 


	8. Plus One

Unable to keep up with the pace of Clarke and Wells, even without the added weight of carrying any type of bag, I ended up in the space between them and Bellamy and Murphy. Because of this and the silence that had been over our sad little rescue squad, since we left the relative safety of the dropship, I debated about turning off my processor to try and save some battery. But we were out in the open and Grounders may not be the only thing out here trying to kill us. I for one did not want a two faced lion or something to sneak up on us. Radiation had probably mutated things to be bigger, meaner, and deadlier after all.

“Hey, hold up.” Bellamy calls then, breaking the silence, but only causes Clarke and Wells to slow down, but not stop. This does allow me to catch up to them as Bellamy continues “What’s the rush? You don’t survive a spear through the heart.” Causing Wells to look at him and tell him “Put the gun away, Bellamy.” Of course this causes Murphy to rush forward and push Wells way with the palm of his hand on his shoulder saying “Well, why don’t you do something about it, huh?” which causes the rest of us to stop. I don’t think as I place a hand on both of their chests and gently push them away from each other, trying to avoid another fight between them, while Clarke explains “Jasper screamed when they moved him. If the spear struck his heart, he’d have died instantly. It doesn’t mean we have time to waste.”

Both boys look down at me with a shocked look before our attention is directed to Bellamy and Clarke as he grabs her wrist saying “As soon as you take this wristband off, we can go.” He then looks at me adding “You too Butterfly.” So I did the only thing I knew he would understand, flipping him off, as Clarke pulls her wrist away telling him “The only way the ark is gonna think I’m dead, is if I’m dead. Got it?” He smirks at me before turning it towards Clarke saying “Brave Princess.”

“Hey, why don’t you find your own nickname?” Finn’s voice says then causing us all to look at him as he makes his way towards us adding “Call this a rescue party? You got to split up, cover more ground. Clarke, Cooper, come with me.” And just continues walking causing Clarke to send one more annoyed look at Bellamy and motion for me to come before she follows him. I look at Wells who just gives me a small nod and motions for me to go. I glance at Murphy and Bellamy only for Murphy to avoid my gaze, as if the tree near us was the most interesting thing in the world, and Bellamy to smirk saying “Go on Butterfly. We won’t kill him.” Before holding a hand out towards me and continuing “Or did you want to go with me? Just got to take that wristband off and I’ll do anything you want.” Annoyed by him and the apparent new nickname, I flip him off again, turn, and jog to catch up to Clarke and Finn, ignoring his amused chuckle.

 “See you’re taking a page out of my book now, Cooper.” Finn says, looking back at me with a wink, as I fall into step with Clarke so I just roll my eyes at him, releasing a deep sigh, disappointed in myself that I let Bellamy get to me. Clarke looks at me then and questions “Everything alright?” _“I think so. Bellamy just got to me is all.”_ I sign, giving her a small smile, which in turn causes her to tell me “Ignore him.” So I give her an ‘I know.’ Look causing her to smile and looks forwards again.

Bellamy was a bully and really wasn’t someone I should let get to me. Clarke didn’t. Though he did seem to know what I was asking, or maybe not with his second comment. But then there’s Murphy. His behavior towards me is strange: grabbing my arm gently as if I would break, giving me that indescribable look, looking shocked when I pulled away from him, looked at him, or pushed him away from Wells, letting me push him away from Wells, avoiding looking at me, and never once looking at me in anger or contempt like he does Wells or Clarke. It makes me feel bad that I can’t remember him now, since he probably wasn’t someone I had just known in passing. I’d ask Clarke or Wells what they thought but I’m pretty sure they’d just tell me to stay away from him. Finn probably would too. Maybe I’d ask Monty or Octavia when we get back, hopefully with a still alive Jasper. If so, maybe I’d ask him to help get his mind off getting impaled by a spear. I mean, it seems as if Finn, Monty, Jasper, and Octavia have accepted me and I think I could actually talk to them so that’s not really the problem.

It’s just, I might be reading into this as more than it is and he, well, may just like me, even though I wasn’t beautiful like Clarke or Octavia. I was only fairly average or just slightly pretty with my light brown hair, which was always in a half-curled state that didn’t know if it wanted to be straight or curly, my birth mark of a splash of slightly darker skin across the back of my neck almost as if the skin was always dirty, my slightly shorter than average height, my average looking face, my pale skin, and my unusual eyes, which were an indescribable mixture of different shades of brown, grey, blue, green, and even yellow that were actually identical to my late mother’s.

 “I’ve been thinking about Mount Weather. How come they didn’t attack until Jasper crossed the river? It’s not like we were being quiet and they didn’t know we were there.” Finn says then, dragging me out of my thoughts as I look at him in question, wondering the same. “They waited for us to cross. The river’s a boundary.” Clarke says after a moment causing us all to stop while Finn shares “Which means Mount Weather is off limits.” This causes Clarke to scoff and question “How are we gonna get those supplies? What are we gonna do for food?”

However, Finn doesn’t respond as his face fills with confusion as he turns his head to the side, as if he was listening carefully to something. I look at Clarke who’s equally confused, meaning she couldn’t hear whatever it was either. That’s when he suddenly jogs away causing Clarke to turn her confusion to me. I give her a ‘are you serious?’ look since if she couldn’t hear it, I couldn’t, to which she gives me a quick ‘right. Sorry.’ Look before motioning for me to follow her. With that we go after him, which wasn’t that far as we find him leaning up against a tree, staring off in the distance.

As we come up next to him we see what he was staring at: a waterfall. It wasn’t big, like the ones from the story books, but it was still beautiful and lead into a river. “Wow.” Clarke says, smiling as she turns to us, adding “Well, at least we don’t have to worry about water.” Which cause Finn to grin and start to walk towards it. Clarke and I follow him, with her reaching for her makeshift water canister.

He goes right in and stops when it reaches his thighs and starts splashing water on his face while Clarke and I pause at the edge, with her handing me her bag and me unable to go into the water due to my processor, as it couldn’t be submerged in water. I watch from the edge, the water barely covering my boots, as Clarke walks in a little and crouches down to fill up the canister. Finn then turns back around, notices Clarke, and promptly splashes water at her.

“Come on, Finn. We don’t have time for this.” She tells him, annoyed, earning a “Clarke, we’ve been hiking for hours. We need a break.” From him. “I’ll take a break when we find Jasper. Come on.” She tells him only for him to splash her again and grab her arms with a smile. She immediately starts telling him “No, No! Finn! Don’t!” but he still pulls her into the water anyway to which she splashes him exclaiming “Damn it Finn!” He just laughs as Clarke relaxes into the water with an “Oh, wow. Okay. Maybe just a minute.” “Yeah?” he questions with a smile as he looks at me and then questions “Cooper?” So I give him a small smile as I shake my head and tap my processor.  “Right, sorry.” He says his smile faltering so I quickly shake my head and raise my hands to convey it was fine.

He smiles and looks to Clarke then saying “You know, I think I know why you’re so hell-bent on finding Jasper, why you're always taking care of everybody else. Why you’re so protective of Cooper.” This of course causes her to scoff and say “Now you sound like my mother. No. Go on. This should be good. The delinquent psychiatrist.” After a scoff and a minute of him contemplating it he answered “You couldn’t save your father.” Instantly the amused look on her face disappears as she looks down.

I stay quiet as I look to the side, choosing not to mention that she was protective of me years before her father died. But what I find are rocks covered in blood causing me to gasp, point, and breathe out an “Uh, guys.” I set the bag down on a dry rock before cautiously making my way towards the rocks as they make their way out of the water. I had to be careful not to slip and accidentally fall into the water, since even though I probably wouldn’t drown, even with me being two inches shorter than Clarke, my processor would.

As we look around for any sign of Jasper, Clarke bends down and picks up something saying “Jasper. He was here. We should get the others.” Revealing that what was in her hands was Jasper’s goggles. It was then that Finn knelt, touched the blood, and looked at his hand, two fingers wet with blood, and announced “We’re close.”


	9. Not Dead Yet

“Hey, how do we know this is the right way?” Murphy demands after a few minutes of us all following Finn after everyone reunited as Clarke called out for them. “We don’t. Spacewalker thinks he’s a tracker.” Bellamy answers earning an “It’s called “cutting sign.” Fourth-year earth skills. He’s good.” From Wells. “You want to keep it down or should I paint a target on your backs?” Finn questions, pausing for a second to glance at them, and takes a few more steps before stopping and reaching out to some leaves. As soon as his fingers touched them the thin branch falls, dangling by a small piece still connected to the rest of the small tree. I watch as he bends down and points to one of the rocks on the ground, showing some droplets of blood on them.

Clarke crouches down beside him, then, to examine the blood and from the corner of my eye I notice Bellamy lean closer to Wells, who was next to me, before he whispers to him “See? You’re invisible.” I look at them confused, to see that Wells has that look, I know all too well, whenever his chances with Clarke are threatened which causes me to feel bad for him. Before it’s always been caused by a guy flirting with Clarke and it being unsuccessful, but with Finn, it seems to be working on her. Wells has loved her for years but she’s never felt anything romantic towards him. She’s always loved him as a friend or brother, like I have. Though right now she’s still angry at him for what happened.

If I was in her shoes I’m sure I would be too. Her father got floated and she’ll never see him again. I didn’t have anyone to be angry at for killing my parents, my childhood friend, and his parents and taking my hearing. I mean, I could be angry at the Council for refusing to increase the medicine rations but that would be pointless, they didn’t make the laws, know if the quarantine would work, or if it had already spread to other parts of the Ark. It wouldn’t change the fact that I will never see them again, be able to hear without my processor, or was supposed to be the one to die not Jona. That I had gotten sick before he did but he was gone and I was here, living our dream of walking on Earth. That Jona made me promise that if he died I wouldn’t and would still do everything that we planned.

My thoughts were cut off then by just barely hearing a weird moaning sound from off in the distance. “What the hell was that?” Murphy demands causing Clarke to stand up saying “Now would be a good time to take out that gun.” Before her and Finn start jogging in the direction it came from, the rest of us close behind them.

The moaning gets louder as we go and stop at the edge of a clearing. I feel my eyes widen as we look at the tree in the middle of it to see a shirtless Jasper bound to it with his hands tied together around the branch above his head, his waist and thighs tied to the trunk behind him, blood and a weird blob on his exposed chest, and his head thrown back in pain as he moaned. He was hurt, but alive.

“Jasper. Oh my God.” Clarke says then snapping me out of staring at him as I quickly follow after her as she starts walking towards him, the others on our heels. “Wait. Be careful.” Finn says quickly causing Clarke to pause saying “We don’t have time to wait.” but I disregard him as I go faster. “What the hell is this?” I hear Bellamy ask just behind me before I feel the ground beneath me crumble, causing a shocked, but small, cry to escape from my mouth spotting the sharp spikes ready to skewer me beneath me. A hand grabs my hand before I can fall to my death causing my body to hit the wall of the pit hard before dangling over the large spikes and causing my hand to grab theirs.

Looking up, my eyes meet Bellamy’s dark brown ones, which betrayed no emotion, and I believe he’s going to drop me, and I’m going to fall to my death, as he glances at my wristband and I feel myself start to slip from his hold. Even though I didn’t want to die, I couldn’t keep holding him and drag him down with me, I couldn’t do that to Octavia after she accepted me. But when I started to let go of his hand it tightened its hold on mine and he grabs my arm with his other hand, his eyes turning wild with many emotions as his jaw clenched, just before Clarke cries out “Cooper! Get her up!” having noticed the situation. He may want my wristband off be he wasn’t going to let me fall. Neither were the others as within seconds, they were all calling “Pull her up!” as they all raced over and helped him pull me up and out.

Bellamy and I share a look before he releases my arm and hand and backs away next to a relieved Murphy as Finn, Wells, and Clarke crowd around me, all speaking at the same time, yet luckily asking the same things at the same time so their voices didn’t merge into indistinguishable noise: “Are you okay? Are you hurt? Did your processor get damaged?” Neither of us were going to share that he was going to drop me and that I would have let him. Because if one told the other would as well and neither of us would want that. I may not know his reasoning, other than not wanting to be labeled a murderer, but mine was since if it was shared then I would be under constant watch. And I’ve already had my fill of being under constant watch during those first four years after the outbreak with my immune system being shot, having to get healthy enough to survive the surgery to get the cochlear implant, and the three years of rehabilitation. That’s not even counting the month or so of it any time after I was physically attacked by the other kids on the Ark, longer if it happened when I was waiting for repairs on my processor.

_“I’m fine. It’s fine. Right now we have to help Jasper.”_ I sign causing them to back off with Clarke translating “We need to get him down.” As she looks up at Jasper. I step back behind Clarke and Wells as Finn offers “I’ll climb up there and cut the vines.” as he heads towards the tree, walking around the pit causing Wells to go to follow him saying “Yeah, yeah, I’m with you.” “No.” Finn says immediately looking back at us before adding “Stay with the girls.” And his eyes dart to Bellamy as he continues “And watch him.” He then looks at Murphy and finishes “You. Let’s go.” While motioning for him to follow him. Murphy looks towards Bellamy for input, who motions for him to go, as Clarke says “There’s a poultice on his wound.” Causing my gaze to snap to Jasper to see that, sure enough, that green blob on his chest was some sort of poultice.

“Medicine? Why would they save his life just to string him up as live bait?” Wells questions causing Bellamy to suggest “Maybe what they’re trying to catch likes its dinner to be breathing.” “Maybe what they’re trying to catch is us.” Finn offers then as I realize that it would probably be a good idea for one of us to be on the other side of the tree to watch for danger. I start to raise my hands to question Wells and Clarke on who should go but see that they were focused on watching Finn and Murphy climb the tree so I stop and lower them with a small sigh. I didn’t feel comfortable speaking out with either Bellamy or Murphy around. Thus, that wasn’t really an option.

“Come on Butterfly.” Bellamy’s voice suddenly says then causing me to whip my head in his direction confused to find he had started walking towards the other side of the tree, as if he had known what I was trying to say. So I look at the others again before I followed him, careful of where I was stepping as to not fall into a pit again.

Once Bellamy and I were on the other side Finn tells Murphy “Hurry up, Murphy.” As they start cutting the vines binding Jasper. “Be careful.” Clarke calls out before Murphy asked “What the hell was that?” I freeze, look at the others, and follow their gaze into the trees to try and see where whatever sound they could hear was coming from while Bellamy asks “Grounders?” I hoped that the reason I couldn’t hear it was because it was quiet and not that the batteries of my processor were starting to die or it itself was dying. Unfortunately I didn’t really have any way to know until I got that beep warning me that I only had thirty minutes left or it just died.

That’s when I saw something sleek and black moving in the grass before the large cat burst out of it running straight towards us causing me to stare at it in fear, frozen in place, as Clarke yelled “Bellamy, gun!” I snap out of it and quickly look towards him but see that he somehow no longer had it as the spot he was feeling around at was empty causing my eyes to go wider, if it was even possible. The pit didn’t kill me, but this big cat probably would.

Then, a gunshot was heard causing me to glance in that direction to see it was Wells, having probably stolen the gun from Bellamy. I quickly look back at the cat as he shot two more times, with only the last one hitting it causing it to stumble as it cried out in pain and jump back into the taller grass, only injured, now more pissed off, and heading for Bellamy and I. It quickly started running back and forth in front of us causing Bellamy to reach his hand out towards me in a come closer motion. I obey, moving slowly as I backed towards him, watching the bushes and tall grass around us rustle. The sound of the rustling and growling barely registering even though it was right in front of me, probably making it even more terrifying to me.

 Just as I got to him the movement and sound stopped causing my breath to hitch waiting for the blow I probably wouldn’t hear coming, yet again. That’s when the cat roars and jumps straight at us, its sharp claws ready to kill. Suddenly Bellamy wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me into his chest, and turning so he would shield me away from the cat’s claws as he used his other arm to attempt to defend us from them. I quickly shut my eyes bracing for the attack just as there’s another gunshot.

There’s a loud thud then causing me to open my eyes to see the cat now on the ground, a few inches away, a bullet wound in its head, and slowly dying as it breathed out one last growl. I release the breath I had been holding then and quickly take another in, panting. I slowly tear my eyes away from the dead cat to look at Wells still pulling the trigger on the gun, with nothing happening, it now empty. The last bullet embedded in the cat’s skull. He lets it slip from his hand then and fall to the ground, useless, before Bellamy’s says “Now she sees you.” His voice really clear and coming from just above me.

I slowly tilt my head up, my eyes locking with Bellamy’s as Wells says “I guess I could say the same for you.” In a slightly warning tone. That’s when I realize his arm was still around my waist and I had involuntarily grabbed it and was still holding it. We both immediately let go and step away while looking away from the other. That was awkward but apparently neither of us realized until it was pointed out to us. Then again we almost just got killed by a big cat so the fact that we were still holding onto each other wasn’t our first concern.


	10. Lean on Me

It was late by the time we walked back into the camp with the light of the campfire lighting our way, Wells and Finn carrying Jasper, and Murphy and Bellamy carrying the cat wrapped up in part of the parachute Wells had brought, our source of food for the night, a little bit behind us. It was supposed to be used for Jasper but Bellamy had practically forced it from us in exchange for Wells stealing the gun and making it useless.

“They’re back!” Someone calls out when we’re noticed causing everyone to come near us as we walked through. “Is he-?” Monty starts to ask when we get close to the dropship but Clarke cuts him off by saying “He’s alive. I need boiled water and strips of cloth for bandage.” That’s when Murphy and Bellamy arrive, place the cat down, and uncover it with Bellamy screaming “Who’s hungry?” causing an eruption of cheers from the group, Bellamy getting the credit for feeding everyone when the cat had almost killed us and Wells had been the one to kill it and save us. Bellamy glances in our direction with a prideful look causing Clarke to scoff and head into the dropship after the boys. He then glances at me so I give him a ‘really?’ look before turning and walking into the dropship to see if I can help Clarke with Jasper. I didn’t know as much as her formally but I could at least help a bit with what I know from my observations from my regular checkups and visiting her at the clinic. 

But I see Monty pacing back and forth in front of the upper level of the dropship, where Jasper must have been taken. He doesn’t notice me so I step forward and place a hand on his shoulder, effectively startling him and causing him to jump back. I quickly raise my hands in surrender, to signal it was just me, and when he does realize it was just me he breathes a sigh of relief and mutters “You scared me.” _“Sorry.”_ I sign before Finn comes down the ladder causing Monty to immediately ask “How is he?” But Finn just responds with “You should ask Clarke.” and heads out of the dropship.

Monty wastes no time in climbing up the ladder then so I follow after him and get to the top as he questions her “How is he?” “He’s stable but he’ll be in a lot of pain when he starts to wake up.” She answers placing the strip of cloth in her hands on a seat, next to what looked like a small metal figure of a two headed dear, and standing up so I sign _“Is he going to die?”_ This causes Clarke to ruffle my hair and sign back _“Not if I can help it.”_ With a reassuring smile before she voices “Keep an eye on him?” I nod and assume Monty did too because he didn’t say anything and Clarke gave a small nod before heading down the ladder.

“You know, Jasper may not be my real brother but he’s always been there for me, you know?” Monty says then softly so I give him a small smile, sit next to him, and nod, knowing it probably wouldn’t make him feel better but what else could I do? He returns it before saying “Guess it’s the same for you, Clarke, and Wells, right?” so I nod again. He then gives me a conflicting face as he questions “I know I shouldn’t ask you this but did you...?” trailing off as he looks back at Jasper so I swallow before looking at the ground nodding, thinking of Jona and feeling the tears start to build in my eyes.

He wraps an arm around me and pulls me into a side hug then as he says “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. You don’t have to tell me.”  I shake my head and take a deep breath before looking at the ceiling of the dropship and hesitantly saying “E-every memory I have from before there’s Jona.”

When all he did was gently tighten his grip I continue “We did everything together and had dreamed of us coming here, to Earth, together.” A smile creeping on my face before it’s gone as I look down at my hands continuing “…Then the outbreak happened…he made me promise that if he died I would live and do everything we planned…Now here I am, on Earth, and living that dream.” Before adding an “Even if I had to get arrested to do it.” With a soft, short, laugh. This earns one from him as he softly pushes me with a simple “Yeah.”

That’s when Octavia’s voice says “Hey you two.” Causing both of us to look in her direction with his arm removing itself to find her holding two sticks with the cat meat on it out to us. “Thanks.” Monty says while I nod at her in thanks as we each take one of the sticks from her. “So how is he?” she questions taking a seat next to me so Monty answers her “Clarke said he’s stable.” Before taking a bite of the meat. “That good.” She says in a happy tone as I take a bite of the meat as well. It was tasteless, which I assume I should be grateful for as it could be a lot worse. I mean, it could taste so bad, no matter how hungry I was, I’d not be able to eat it.  

We sat in silence then as Monty and I ate the cat meat and we all watched Jasper for any changes. Surprisingly it wasn’t an awkward silence or an uncomfortable one. Though it was over as soon as Octavia suddenly asks “I’ve been meaning to ask. How is your processor powered? Will it run out of charge or something?” I look at my hands then and like they could tell they both question “How long?”

“A-about a day.” I whisper after a moment of them just waiting for my response earning an exclaimed “A day?!” from Octavia as she grabs my shoulders. I slowly nod keeping my eyes on my hands before Monty says “Maybe I can do something.” Causing me to quickly shake my head and say “Talking to the Ark is more important.” “That may be true but won’t it be really dangerous for you?” Octavia questions her hands tightening on my shoulders so I stay silent, knowing all too well how right she was.

“But she has us right? And Clarke and Wells won’t let anything happen to her either right?” Monty questions breaking the silence causing her grip to loosen as she says “Well yeah but we won’t know how to talk with her then.” I quickly look up at her to discover she was looking at my hands while Monty says “I didn’t think about that.” Before quickly asking “But we could ask Clarke and Wells to teach us right?”

“Right!” Octavia exclaims then, looking back up at me, before grabbing my shoulders again while saying “You can count on us too.” So I look back down at my hands and nod, feeling a small smile and tears start to form. I knew they had probably accepted me but I didn’t think it would be like this.


	11. Silence

I sighed as I sat and leaned against the wall of the dropship looking at my hands after just being able to watch Monty work on the wristbands and Clarke tend to Jasper who had apparently started to stir, moaning and groaning, during the night for a while. Though I wouldn't know what Jasper was actually doing for sure as Clarke had told me to turn my processor off to sleep once she came back last night and not to turn it back on until I absolutely needed to when she woke me up this morning. I assume she did so to try and help conserve what little was left from the battery since she and Wells already knew of its battery life. Though I guess it could also be so I couldn’t listen to the pain Jasper was in with the pained groans from my past already haunting my dreams.

I didn’t know anything about engineering so I couldn’t help Monty and I couldn’t help Clarke with Jasper any more than helping clean around the wound. But was I really so useless that I couldn’t help build the wall or collect resources around camp? Was it really necessary for Clarke or Wells to stop me when I tried to go to the lower level of the dropship? But maybe I shouldn’t have thought it wouldn’t be like this. That I wouldn’t be under watch before my processor’s battery ran out and without being caught on my actions of yesterday. I mean, Clarke and Wells knew about my processors life span from the very beginning. Maybe I should be thankful that they care about me, even if their caring could be suffocating at times. I’m just relieved that I didn’t tell Monty and Octavia about Murphy. If I had, I’m sure they would tell and I would actually be locked up here with Jasper.

 But…I had no idea how to figure it out by myself. Jona was really my only friend I had had on Arrow station so maybe Murphy did just like me somehow and wasn’t even from Arrow station. It would probably be better if I could just ask Murphy himself but how could I? There was no guarantee that he wouldn’t treat me like the others on the Ark if I did talk to him. I was lucky Monty, Finn, Octavia, and Jasper didn’t when I did end up talking during our attempted trip to Mount Weather, when talking about Jona with Monty, or when talking about my processor with both Monty and Octavia.  

I’m dragged out of my thoughts by a hand being placed on my head. I quickly look up in the direction of the owner, a happy looking Octavia. I blink at her in surprise and question causing her to get a large smile on her face before she removed her hand and held it out to me. So I hesitantly reach out and take it causing her to immediately pull me up. She then turns and starts pulling me with her to the ladder so I quickly look towards Clarke, who just nodded. I guess whatever Octavia was doing with me had already been approved.

Once we get to the lower level of the dropship I reach up to turn my processor back on but she stops me. I give her a confused look so she just tells me “Trial run.” Now it all made sense, Octavia had somehow convinced them to let me head out of the dropship without turning on my processor in the name of practice on what will happen when it no longer works at all. In truth it also made sense so I could probably turn it back on when needed for the rest of the time we’re here until it runs out that way or we find a way to recharge or replace the battery.

I nod so she lets go of my hand while telling me “Clarke told Monty and I that you can read lips when they are facing you when we asked about teaching us that signing thing.” I nod again so she grins and says “But I’m still going to learn how to because I figured you don’t feel comfortable talking to people using your voice.”  So I nod, yet again, and give her a small smile causing her to ruffle my hair as she says “Thought so. But if you get messed with call out, alright?” Thus, I huff and send her my ‘I know’ look before brushing her hand off my head causing her to laugh as she turn around and head out of the dropship.

I take a deep breath before I step towards the doorway but pause, my fingers just brushing the parachute covering it. I knew what to do when I got into trouble but could one of them actually come to help when I needed it? Wouldn’t they also get stopped like Clarke and I when Wells and Murphy got into it when we got here? I know I said I could but would I really be able to handle never being able to hear what’s coming at me down here? Could I really survive not only the grounders but the others down here without help?

Shaking my head of those thoughts, I push the parachute out of the way, walk off the ramp, and look around at everyone as they were working on building the wall, making weapons, throwing wood onto a pile, or just messing around. I wondered what all of this would have been like if I wouldn’t have lost my hearing or if Jona was here with me. But would he have had done something to get himself arrested? Would we have even stayed friends after I was moved to Alpha station? After I could no longer hear without my processor?

I quickly shake my head of those thoughts and start walking in the direction of that waterfall wondering if I had really become this down on myself. Wasn’t I still the same person I was back on Arrow station? Wouldn’t I be happy if Jona was still alive even if he wasn’t my friend anymore? Wouldn’t I give anything to have him call me that ridiculous nickname just one more time even if I couldn’t hear it? That Jona was somehow still alive and I’d just been lied to? But what would I actually do if I had been lied to? I mean, wouldn’t have Clarke or Wells told me the truth all those times I would start crying when something would remind me of him those first few years? Why would they lie to me in the first place? It’s not like there would be any point.

That’s when I stop and look at my feet with a sigh. The Snows have only ever treated me as if I was their own daughter. Clarke and Wells have only ever treated me as their friend…like their little sister. Chancellor Jaha and the Griffins have always treated me as if I had been there my whole life. Sure they sent us all down here but it was a chance not just for us but for humanity to live. There wouldn’t be any point for them to take away my best friend.

I look up then, disappointed in myself that I was even thinking that they would have. I should be thinking about how this wasn’t the Ark and it probably wasn’t a good idea for me to go off on my own. Not only were there probably some of those from the Ark that had bullied me in the past that no longer had to worry about majorly hurting or even killing me but there was also the Grounders who are sure to want us all dead. I should be thinking that I’m lucky that I hadn’t been spotted by them while I was distracted with those crazy thoughts.

Looking around, at the starting to darken forest, I wonder if I had actually been spotted and was being watched or followed. But if I had been spotted by a grounder wouldn’t I be dead and if I was being followed by someone wouldn’t they have already made themselves known this far from camp? Maybe I should just head back and see if one of the others would go with me tomorrow. But should I even go at all? I shouldn’t really have someone come with me on a whim. Not when there’s so much to do around camp. Not when I’m alone within my world of silence. And definitely not when I don’t think about how close to darkness it was before I headed out.

This thought causes me to sigh, turn around, and start the silent trek back to camp.


End file.
